4 Floors Apart

Although Matthew has gotten to the point where he likes going to the doctor (huge progress from the screaming days of just a few years past), the dentist is another story. A story that I had never experienced, because Rob always took him to the dentist. It required manpower, which Rob had a little bit more of than me.  Even with Rob's manpower they were only able to do a very cursory dental exam and they had not been successful at taking dental x-rays.  They suspected he might need some cavities filled as well.

Tuesday, November 11th...It had been planned for months that I would take him that morning to Elmbrook Hospital.  He would get sedated so that they could do a thorough cleaning, get x-rays and do any dental work that was needed.  The sedation required that he wouldn't be able to eat or drink after midnight the night before.  I started mentally preparing myself that weekend...there was no way to make this a fun outing, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.  Lord help us if he needs braces!

What I hadn't prepared myself for was the fact that come Tuesday I wouldn't be able to take him to the hospital.  For, in fact on Sunday night I would be admitted to that same hospital myself and be there until Wednesday afternoon.  It started Sunday morning, with a pain that ran from my armpit down to my elbow when I opened the car door. If I kept my arm still it wasn't so bad, but as soon as I moved it, the pain was pretty intense.  I wracked my brain to think of what I had done recently...had I pulled a muscle in my arm? We got into church and I was so cold I couldn't talk my coat off.  I was shaking and couldn't get warm. After church I skipped lunch and went straight to lay down.  At this point I was thinking I must have the flu and this pain in my arm must be what they describe as body aches.  Later that night, my symptoms increased to include my left hand turning red and starting to swell.  A call to the nurse line, a visit to Urgent Care and a phone call to my in-laws to see if they could take me to the hospital and I was admitted finally close to midnight on Sunday night.  It turned out that I had a skin infection...most likely strep that had gotten under the skin.  I ended up needing to stay several days to receive fluids and antibiotics by IV and to allow time for the swelling and pain to go down.

Matthew's appointment was scheduled to be at 10:30 on Tuesday morning.  Seeing as they needed to kill some time since he couldn't eat or drink and because I hadn't seen him since Sunday night Rob brought Matthew to the hospital early to see me.  He was such a sight for sore eyes.  You can't go days without seeing that boy and not miss him...it's humanly impossible.  The way he came bouncing into my hospital room makes me believe he was equally happy to see me too.  And of course he had fun exploring my hospital room.  I felt better getting to see him and having him crawl in my bed and snuggle me before he went down for his procedure.  It comforted me to know that even though I couldn't be with him, I would only be four floors above him.  You know darn well if anything went wrong or if he needed me, I'd hop in the elevator in my hospital gown (dragging my IV's along)!

In Did You Know? I told a little of Matthew's adoption story.  Something that I didn't tell about in that story was that after we were matched with Matthew, but before we were scheduled to travel we got news from China that Matthew was in the hospital.  He had been fed contaminated formula and had developed kidney stones.  It was hard to be so far away from him...such a helpless feeling!  At the time I would have done anything to have been just four floors apart!

                                                                 

Spicy Hunan Girl

I can’t say that she didn’t warn me.  Her words were something to the effect of, “Don’t give them a name that can be shortened.  Oh… and don’t give them a nickname unless you want them to be stuck with it forever.”  My mom was speaking from experience, of course.  Her given name was Gloria Jean Walker.  But thanks partly to a song that her dad used to sing to her,  (Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair) she is still known as Jeanie to this day.

So, in 2003 when we adopted our daughter, I thought we had done pretty well with the name Abby.  I mean you can’t shorten Abby too easily (although once in awhile she gets called Abs or Abster- which isn’t really shorter…) Abby’s Chinese name is Chang Ming Qing.  When we were in China they doubled the Qing part – Qing Qing, which we thought was pretty cute and used when she was really little, but I doubt at her current age of 12 she would let us call her QingQing! 

Abby was born in the province of Hunan, which is known for many things, but especially it’s spicy Hunan food.  Before you knew it we had a “Spicy Hunan Girl”.  We liked how this nickname incorporated a little bit of her culture, but neither of us had any idea just how much the name would capture her personality!

Here’s a little glimpse into life with our “Spicy Hunan Girl”… 

At age 2 ½ she was having quite the meltdown and Rob finally said to her, “That’s enough!  You have two choices.  You can walk or I can carry you to the car.”  The whole time he carried her to the car (Did you really think she was going to choose walking?)  she was yelling at the top of her lungs, “That is NOT enough!  There are NOT two choices!”

Now spicy doesn’t just mean she has a hot temper (although there’s plenty of that to go around), but rather it refers to the funny things that she says and does that keep us on our toes.  

Our Spicy Hunan Girl finds creative ways to use things around the house, such as shaving cream to feed marshmallow treats to her bath animals, Kleenex for clothes for her Barbies, and napkins to create “napkin art”.

She is also full of parenting advice for how to parent Matthew.  “Now, mom…if you tickle Matthew’s feet when he takes his shoes off, he will never learn not to take his shoes off!” She can get after him for being in her room, but she can be so sweet and caring too.  We just celebrated her birthday and she didn’t yell at him when he blew out half her candles.  She knew he had been looking forward to the birthday candle part all day.  She also let him open some of her presents.

 

She even gave me advice for a writing class I was taking.  When I told her what I was going to write about for the topic of “a scar” she said to me, “Oh… I would have written about something more poetic…like something that had scarred me for life."

   

Our Spicy Hunan Girl asks interesting questions and says funny things.  “I wonder if Uncle Ben is married to Aunt Jemima?” While watching a Christmas movie, she leaned over and said, “I still believe in Santa, even if she has curly hair, a pointy nose, and glasses."         

And it’s probably best not to try and reason with her because you might end up with a conversation like this:  “Mom, I’m hungry.”  “Okay, grab a handful of something.”  After hearing noises coming from the kitchen, I said, “Abby, what are you doing?”  “Making a shake.”  “Abby!” “You said to grab a handful of something.”

 

But the best thing about our Spicy Hunan Girl is that she is spicy with her showing of affection! One time we were playing Tic Tac Toe and she gave me a kiss on the cheek after every turn.  Her explanation…”I’m X’s!”

So, as my mom warned us, Abby might be stuck with the nickname Spicy Hunan Girl forever, but if it means she still has her spicy personality, then I wouldn’t have it any other way! 

                                                             

         

He Gets It!!!

Often people will ask me questions like, "Is Matthew excited about _________"?  Fill in the blank with anything such as Halloween, Christmas, his birthday, etc.  And I'm never really sure how to answer, because it's hard to know how much he understands about abstract concepts like that.  If I were to ask him, he might nod "yes", but a "yes" answer is not always reliable.  When he shakes his head "no", he usually really does mean "no", but I think sometimes he nods "yes" because he knows you are asking a question and therefore should reply, but doesn't really understand the question.  (Abby and I have done a few experiments, where we ask him goofy questions where the answer would most likely be "no".  For example, "Do you like to eat bugs?" and he nods, "yes".

This year though, something exciting happened!  The pumpkin basket that he uses to collect his trick or treat load has been floating around our house since last Halloween. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I put it in the basement, but things in the basement tend to find their way back upstairs.  Singing Easter bunnies sometimes make appearances in the summer.  The snowman pillow finally had to be hidden. I think you get the idea. The week leading up to trick or treating, he pointed to the pumpkin basket and then signed "walk".  I think between trying on pieces of his Halloween costume, Abby practicing putting a pirate beard on him and working on signing Trick or Treat during therapy he was really starting to understand about Halloween.

Fast forward to Saturday (Trick or Treat night in our neighborhood) and the boy could barely eat dinner because he was so excited.  Abby left a little early to go to a friend's house because the "big" kids were trick or treating together this year.  All his actions were saying, "Come on...let's go!"  We drove down to the blocks where all the action was happening.  With prompting, every house that we went to he signed, "Trick or Treat" and "Thank you".  It was fun to see that several people asked how to sign "you're welcome".

I'm proud to say that we didn't have any running incidents.   He did a little pulling when he saw our neighbor's van (it is an obsession of his), but he was able to be re-directed.  Last year, I remember we would sometimes get stuck at a house because he had to tap/pound on each pumpkin.  It got a little dicey when he tried to take the top off a lighted Jack o' Lantern.  He didn't do that this year.  The only thing that held us up was that he would hold out his hand to take the candy because he wanted to put it in the basket himself. Then he would just hold the candy for what seemed like forever and I would have to prompt..."Put it in your basket".  I was surprised that at one house, when he could choose between candy and a mini container of Playdoh, that he chose the candy, because he loves Playdoh.  Considering what a sensory seeker he is, I was also surprised that the only sensory seeking that he did was to tap the bowls that people were using to hand out the treats.  His favorite was the house that was using a big aluminum pan.  He had to spend a little while scratching the ridges on the side.  I was worried we might overstay our welcome at that house.

Matthew lasted 1 hour and 20 minutes.  Actually, he would have kept going, but WE were done!  I thought he might have fun helping hand out candy the next day during city-wide trick or treating, but he just kept signing "walk".  He totally would have gone Trick or Treating again!

I can't wait for Christmas - it'll be fun to see what ways he shows us that he "gets it" this year!


                                                         

Just the Right Place

Last year (pre-blog stage) I wrote on my personal Facebook page about how I was a little worried about Abby going onto the middle school, because then they wouldn't be at the same school. Matthew would sometimes visit Abby if he needed a little calming down.  I shared how we were at Abby's orchestra concert and Matthew was enjoying the music, but starting to make a lot of noises.  Rob took him out into the hallway and a few minutes later came back into the concert without Matthew.  I looked at him in surprise and he said that Mr. Supa (the principal) was taking him for a walk.  At that time I commented that I was reassured that everything would be okay...Abby could move on and Matthew would be fine, because he was in the right place.  

Now that we are in the second month of the school year and have had his first parent-teacher conference, I thought I would share with you some of my current reasons for knowing that he is in "just the right place."   

1.  His classroom teacher said that sometimes she tells the rest of the class,  "Look at Matthew.  If you don't know what you are supposed to be doing, look at Matthew."  I have to admit my chin almost hit the floor on that one.  We have heard positive things about Matthew before, but I don't know that he's ever been referred to as a role model!  

2.  The school asked me to write a little about his weekends in his communication notebook.  On Mondays they use that information to help him write a journal entry.  They write it in his journal and then he traces over the letters.  His aide will then type that sentence into his ipad. When it is journal sharing time, Matthew's journal is put under a projection device so the class can see his words/picture and hear his ipad saying the words.  They understand the importance of his ideas being heard.  

3.  Almost every week he gets to have cooking class.  Not only does he love to cook, but his speech and language teacher is in the room at the time.  She is able to facilitate communication in a real life situation.  He won't always eat what they make, but he has fun nonetheless.  

4.  If he requests a rest time or they feel that he is exhibiting behaviors that indicate that he is tired they offer quiet time in the special education room.  They understand that if he is too tired, it's counterproductive to force him to work through that.  Someone as active as Matthew needs to recharge every so often!  He goes through goofy sleeping phases at home too that can affect his energy level.  Sometimes he will go weeks and sleep through the night and sometimes (like this week) he is up at least once every night.  Sometimes he goes right back to sleep and sometimes it is a process...a process that involves one of us being awake too.  

5.  Thanks to both school and home therapy (and a program called Handwriting Without Tears) his handwriting is really taking off.  I can't tell you how delighted we were when he brought home a paper and he had written Matt independently from a model.  He now writes Matt on his papers.  He had another paper where he did such a good job on writing the words Mom and Dad.   

6.  He has a daily communication notebook.  This notebook is so important to a parent of a child who is nonverbal.  I can ask him if he had a good day at school and he will nod "yes", but that doesn't really tell me what was good about his day and it doesn't tell me if there were some not so good parts.  I confess when I pick him up from school, I read it in the car while he is getting buckled.  Sometimes at home, I will read parts of it to him or ask him a question about something that was written in there (i.e.  It says you had library today.  Did you get new books?")  We also try to talk about if there were bad choices made that day.  

7.  If you read Whatever It Takes you will know that Matthew has some interesting things that motivate him. The school utilizes some of these motivators to help him be productive.  One of his favorite things to work for is to spend time with the school custodian.  He likes to watch him vacuum of course, but also other cleaning and building projects are pretty exciting too.  

8.  They will sometimes take pictures on his ipad of things happening at school.  He was scribbling on his dry erase board and his teacher said, "Write your words."  They took a picture of the word Matt on his dry erase board.  In the past they have also taken pictures of him on field trips or special events at school.  

9.  When I drop him off at school, there is a girl who was in his class last year who likes to give him a big hug and hold his hand.  Another one of his friends will always say "Hi!" to him and one day announced, "I love Matthew."  The rest of his classmates love it when he talks with his ipad.  

10.  And this just might be my favorite...they are attempting to help us cut his pinky nails! He will not let us cut his pinky nails or his toenails.  I will not describe for you what kind of torture this is to even try.  Every night I try to sneak into his room when he is sleeping to cut them, but he always wakes up.  Today they made some progress as he let them file his right pinky nail.  

As some of you know, after teaching full time for 22 years, I am teaching part time in Special Education. Since I have been in a different teaching role for the last 14 years, I am taking note of all the positive things happening for Matthew at his school.  My goal is to have my students' and their parents feel that same way...that their kid is in "just the right place."  

                                                    

The Dreaded Block Party

Our block LOVES block parties.  So much so, that we have one in June and one in September.  What's not to love about them?  The kids ride their bikes, skateboards, and scooters.  We eat yummy food and drink yummy drinks.  We shoot the breeze while our kids run and laugh and play.  We end the night with a bonfire. And it all happens IN THE STREET.  Which let's face it, makes it all the more fun because you're doing something that is normally off limits.

But I have to be honest.  Ever since Matthew could walk/run, block parties have become a lot more complicated and while I still look forward to them, I also feel a sense of dread. First of all, anytime we are even remotely near a street or parking lot we hold Matthew's hand.  He doesn't have an instinct for danger. But you can't really hold hands during the whole block party.  Granted, there are no cars in the street because it's blocked off, but our experience from previous block parties is that he will run down driveways to get to neighbors' cars or garages. A year ago, I remember thinking, "Gee...this is fun" as Matthew and I went in the house for the first time-out of the evening and the block party had only started five minutes prior. He has to take automatic timeouts if he runs and doesn't stop when we yell, "Stop!"  In June, I realized it was progress that we made it half an hour before we needed to take a time-out.   Secondly, when you have a "runner" you work so hard to teach them about safety and not going in the street.  And lots of kids will understand that this is a special party and that we can only do it on this special day.  I don't believe that Matthew understands that distinction.  Will I have undone what I have been trying to teach him? Thirdly (and maybe selfishly), it is exhausting and not relaxing to watch someone that closely for hours. I won't be shooting the breeze while my kid runs back and forth between someone's backyard and the street.  (Parents of toddlers can relate, I'm sure!)  You really can't hold a decent conversation with someone when you know at any moment you are going to have to abruptly leave. And there's always that bonus danger factor of having a bunch of hot grills around.

Last Friday was our fall block party.  It started around 4:00 pm and I felt a little bad that he had therapy until 5:45 pm, but a part of me thought, "Well, that's a little less time that we will have to be outside."  His therapist should have been paid double that night because she had to convince him that he still wanted to do therapy even though it was becoming more and more evident that he wanted to be outside.  That's where all the action was.  At the beginning of the block party Matthew and I did spend some time in a neighbor boy's backyard...just the two of us.  We spent some time visiting the garbage cans that were being used to hold the block party sign to block off the street.  And we did make a few attempts to lead adults by the hand to their garages.  BUT...besides that we rode our scooter in the street (okay...we were attempting to ride it on the curb, but go with me here.), went up to the table and ate taco dip (with some prompts not to double dip), and rode a neighbor girl's tricycle up and down the street.  We didn't run down driveways. We didn't get in cars.  We didn't go in garages.  We were staying at the block party! After dinner, when the sun started going down, he was content to do what he often does in our house...he walked around in big circles on his tiptoes, verbally stimming (repeated vocalizations) and flapping his face with the end of his toy microphone. And you might not believe this part, but I actually sat down!  (Now you need to know that Matthew signed for me to sit down and you might know from Mr. Bossypants that he likes to tell people what to do.)  I can't explain how I know this (mother's intuition?) but I believe that he wasn't just being bossy this time.  I think he was telling me two things:  1.  He was asserting his independence  2.  He was reassuring me that he wasn't going to run.

Another confession...usually on block party nights we take him in right at his bedtime or even before (even though most kids are staying up way past their bedtime), because as I mentioned it's exhausting.  But at this block party we let him stay up past his bedtime, because he was doing such a good job.  One of the funniest parts of the night came after Rob took him inside to put him to bed.  Someone points to one of our upper level windows.  "Hey, look it's Matthew."  The thing is if we can see him in the window, that means he is kneeling on his dresser.  Before we knew it, he had gotten up off his knees and was standing on his dresser. All you could see was a black silhouette perfectly framed in the window...a boy, wishing he was still at the block party.  I called Rob on his cellphone and said, "Did you know your son is on top of his dresser."  The whole block erupted in laughter as we could tell the moment that Rob opened Matthew's bedroom door...the silhouette jumped hastily and guiltily.

Now that you have read this I think you'll understand and hopefully not think I'm too crazy if I decide to suggest to our neighbors that we try something new... a winter block party! Just think, there could be snow forts, snowmen, snowball fights, a fire pit and hot chocolate.

Note:  Prior to this block party, we did build into his therapy sessions a social story about block parties.  A social story is a way to teach him about a social situation and expected behavior.  His therapists read it to him every session for about three weeks leading up to the party.  I don't know if that was what helped this block party be a success, but I have to believe that it definitely didn't hurt.


                                           

True Colors

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show 

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful 

Like a rainbow

I smiled as I heard the familiar 80's tune playing from my phone.  Matthew had signed and asked to use my phone.  This was progress since he used to just take my phone. Progress that was helped by a locked screen, mind you.  The phone is not as much fun when you can't get into it!  One of his favorite things to do is to play music from my iTunes.  True Colors is one of his latest favorite songs to play.

While the rest of the song doesn't necessarily fit, I feel like the chorus could be Matthew's theme song.  The songwriters, Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly didn't know Matthew when they wrote it. He wasn't even born yet! But when I hear that part of the song I feel like it was written just for him.

Matthew's True Colors:

Red

Red is for his charismatic personality.  He has a way of winning people over.  There's something endearing about the way he can get people to do just what he wants without speaking a word.  He takes a person's hand in his and somehow has a way of making that person feel special...that he chose them to hold his hand. Once that person feels special, they are like putty in his hand.  A friend of ours was watching him for us one day after school last year.  She sent me a picture of him in the baby swing at the park. I laughed and asked her, "How did you get him in there?  He's too big!"  She said, "Well, he really wanted to go in that swing." He can get the grandmas and grandpas to do all kinds of things from scratching his head and his back to swinging him from his ankles, just by being charming.

 Orange

Orange is for his love of vacuums.  If you read, Whatever it Takes, you already know that he loves vacuums. I don't think he has met a vacuum that he didn't like.  There's a lot to love about vacuums; the rumbly sound, the slightly dusty smell, the feel of the air on your hands or face, the plastic to tap and the bumpy hoses to feel, etc.  At Meet Your Teacher night, his new second grade teacher showed Matthew the vacuum she had bought just for him.  The vacuum that he would be allowed to use on the classroom rug at the end of the day. (I would say his teacher knows something about winning people over too.) At school, he works to be able to watch the custodian use the vacuum or the floor cleaner (that's an extra special treat).  There's a neighborhood Chinese restaurant that we used to go to and we would have to hold his hand extra tight when coming and going because he knew right where they kept their vacuum cleaner.  One day, we were at a local department store and there was a worker vacuuming.  Matthew had to sit down (criss cross applesauce) right there and watch him.  This month we bought a new vacuum cleaner and almost every day he asks me to vacuum when we get home from school. My floors have never been so clean!

Yellow

Yellow is for his love of music.  Both on his ipad and my phone he will sit and pick music on my iTunes.  He creates his own slideshows by picking a song and then going into the photos and looking through them. That is one of the reasons why I have so many pictures on my phone!  Right now he is sitting next to me on the porch playing a video clip of Lady Antebellum in concert.  He is playing it over and over and I think he likes the extra hooting and hollering of the fans.  He will also select apps because he likes the music playing in the background.  He will hold my phone up to his ear and listen very intently.  He is obviously not too picky about his music though, because he will still ask me to sing to him.  Abby and Rob can vouch that I can't sing, but Matthew doesn't seem to care.

Green

Green is for his love of jumping.  Ever since he could walk he has loved to jump!  He also jumps when he is super excited about something.  (After the store worker moved to another section of the store, but still within earshot, Matthew looked like a jumping bean. If jumping beans squealed and flapped, that is.) During therapy he is still able to get his therapists to "jump him".  He faces his back to them and they pick him up at the waist and jump him into the air.  It is definitely an upper body work-out for them, but there's going to come a day when they just can't physically lift him anymore.  The week before school started we tried out Helium, which is a trampoline park.  The place was something out of his dreams, I'm sure.  There's no doubt that we will have to go back.  A couple weeks ago we went on a bike ride, with me pedaling and Matthew in the ride along carrier.  I swear I didn't pick this route to torture him, but we went past a festival and they had about 3 different bouncy areas and then we passed four different block parties, and they all had bouncy houses.  I thought he was going to burst out of his skin!  He signed "jump" at me the rest of the day.

Blue

Blue is for his sensory seeking ways.  Touching:  tapping garbage cans, wastebaskets, walls, orange cones, the inside of the freezer, boxes, coffee cups, etc., scratching box lids, bottoms of slippers, lids to coffee cups, the sides of the car, etc., pounding walls, doors, wastebaskets, garbage cans, etc., stimming by flapping his face with a kleenex, paper towel, receipts, his microphone with a plastic piece that hangs down, etc., Hearing: most of the touching from above creates sounds, music, the vibration of the car when the window is rolled down, shaking things to make noise, etc.  Smelling:  things before he eats them, Daddy's coffee, Mama's tea, bottoms of shoes and slippers, flowers, things made of plastic, rubber, wood, cardboard, etc.

Purple

Purple is for his ability to problem solve.  An overturned wastebasket makes a tall stool. We find these right under closet doors with latches.  Luckily for us, he has not figured out how to undue that particular latch...yet. In the laundry room he will overturn laundry baskets to get cleaning wipes on the shelves above the sink.  Just today he wanted to get into the basement (which was latched).  He stood on a giant package of toilet paper and this was the kind of latch he can undue.  Fortunately, he was caught red-handed by Daddy.  One night at dinner, Abby went into the kitchen to get something and when she returned she exclaimed, "Why do I have more green beans now?"  We looked at Matthew's plate and he didn't have ANY on his plate.  Pretty clever.  If she would have been a green bean lover, she probably wouldn't have even noticed.  As I mentioned in another post, he will make up signs for words if he doesn't know the sign. Then he consistently uses that sign to stand for that word.  That takes some huge problem solving skills.

I know that he is at an age where his classmates and peers still accept him, because that's how they have always known him.  As Abby often says, "That's just Matthew."  But I'm sure there will come a time when someone will say something to him or make fun of him for the behaviors and loves mentioned above.  I won't always be there to stop it or defend him, but maybe if I can keep reminding him of these words...

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show 

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful 

Like a rainbow

Knock on Wood

As a kid I think my beliefs in superstitions were pretty typical.  My friends and I would be huffing and puffing by the time the car passed the end of the cemetery and we could finally let out our breath.  It makes me laugh to see Abby and her friends do the same thing now.  I remember sitting in our backyard searching and searching for that one magical four leaf clover.  And of course I jumped from sidewalk square to sidewalk square...wouldn't want to break my mother's back!  It seems disgusting now, but I remember having a keychain with a green rabbit foot .  I'm sure I won it at a school fun night. 

With maturity and age my superstitious beliefs lessened as I became a teenager/young adult.  I would find that I still needed to throw a penny and make a wish in a "wishing well" (aka any pool of water where there was already coins).  Pennies found had to be picked up, because "Find a penny, pick it up, all day you'll have good luck."  At my wedding I made sure to include something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.  Although I might have cheated a little on that one, because my mom's garter covered three of the categories.  

That brings us to today.  I might be caught using expressions like "knock on wood" or "I'll cross my fingers for you".  A few months ago, Abby and I did save a wishbone to see who would get the biggest piece.  But other than that I can't be considered too superstitious...I mean I have two black cats for goodness sake!

However, I realized I have created my own little superstitions when it comes to Matthew.

They don't last long, especially when the pattern gets broken.  Just this week a new superstition was formed.  Matthew has a communication notebook with a behavior scale (1= I can do better  2 = OK  3 = Great)  for the morning and the afternoon.  Daddy tells him in the morning, "I want 3's.  Give me 3's" and Matthew will hold up three fingers.  On Monday morning he had a big bowl of hot cereal.  It's super healthy except for maybe the spoonful of brown sugar.  I'm sure the reason he loves it is because of the brown sugar, but to his credit he eats the whole bowl.  That day when he got home from school he had a 3 for the morning and a 3 for the afternoon with an extra comment of Great Day!  

The next morning he requested the hot cereal.  Normally, I'm a little picky and won't let him have the same thing two mornings in a row, because I don't want him to get stuck on only eating certain foods.  But I thought about how he had such a great day and thought "why not?", maybe it's the big, nutritious breakfast he had.  Guess what?  3's on Tuesday.  Hot cereal on Wednesday morning.  3's on Wednesday.  Hot cereal on Thursday morning.  3's on Thursday.  Hot cereal this morning.  A 3 and a 2.  The pattern is broken...guess we'll be eating something else for breakfast tomorrow!

Probably the thing that causes my brain to want to make up superstitions is Matthew's erratic sleeping patterns.  Not sleeping through the night is a fairly common problem in the autism world.  When he sleeps through the night, I think to myself, "What did we do right before bed?  What was different about this night then say the night he wanted to party at 3 am?"  For awhile I was convinced that it had to do with who put him to bed.  I thought that if Rob put him to bed, the reason he would wake up was because I hadn't sang to him or played music for him, etc.  But then Rob had a couple of successful nights in a row and that threw my theory out the window.  Matthew likes to go to sleep with the overhead light on.  I started to think that maybe leaving it on all night versus turning it off when we went to bed was the ticket. But truly there doesn't seem to be rhyme or reason to his sleepless nights.  One of these days I will probably learn to live with the fact that some things just don't have an answer.

I will tell you this though; if there was something I could do that would guarantee to stop him from being a runner,  I would do it in a heartbeat.  Matthew going missing or getting hit by a car are my biggest fears, ones I live with everyday. (Yes, this will be a blog post someday.)  I would wear my pajamas inside out, jump over holes, make sure all pennies were right side up, kiss an onion when I woke up, etc.  Anything. 

But until I figure out what that magic trick is I will just have to post this, because do you know what I realized?  Right now I have 13 blog posts and you know what they say about the number 13...