Famous Escapes

The North Star

Served as a beacon 

As Harriet led others to freedom 

All while being in disguise

A bar of soap

Fashioned into a gun

Allowed Dillinger to force his way

Out of jail and into the sheriff’s new Ford

Two bikes

Constructed from spare parts

Led Curious George’s creators away

From Paris and Hitler’s troops

A stone

Smashed open a lock

Freed Ceara and his girlfriend

And 6 other adventurous monkeys 

A carefully selected key 

Hidden in a secret pocket

Unlocked Houdini 

From any handcuffs placed upon him

A homemade drill

Tunneled to a ventilation shaft

Released three prisoners from Alcatraz

Who were never seen or heard from again

A box, 3’ by 2’ 

Labeled “Right Side up With Care”

Held Henry Brown across many miles

For over 27 hours 

A glass of wine

Consumed with friends via Zoom

Provided relief to quarantined Moms

All across the world 

Signs

About a year and a half ago, Abby and I were sitting in Starbucks while Matthew was at Social Skills on a Saturday morning. I noticed a group gathering at the table behind us and couldn’t help but steal glances every so often. It appeared to be a sign language class happening right there in Starbucks! After the class ended, I introduced myself to the instructor and let her know that I (and possibly my family) would be interested in learning more signs. Several weeks later we had it arranged that she and her co-teacher would meet with us weekly in our home. We were not able to get all the way through all of the lessons due to extenuating circumstances, but we “learned” at least 600 signs! Now, I can’t say that Matthew knows all 600 signs, but it definitely increased his vocabulary. I thought I would tell you about the signs that he uses almost daily.

WEEKEND - Matthew is very schedule oriented and likes to know exactly what day of the week it is and where that day of the week fits into the scheme of the whole week. So, no matter what day we are currently on...it can be Monday or it can be Thursday - we have to go through all the days of the week until we hit Friday where we immediately sign WEEKEND. If I let him he would go through the next week all the way until Friday again! 

WORK - Matthew uses this sign constantly, not because he loves to work, but he wants you to know that he is working. He will sign working if he does a direction that I have given: 

Get dressed - WORK 

Brush your teeth - WORK

Put away your playdough - WORK

Sometimes he will sign WORK and then sign seatbelt because he is hoping to earn a seatbelt for his wagon, even though he is technically too big for the wagon. Which might be why both seatbelts are broken! 

SORRY - I have to say this is one of his most sincere signs. When he says he is sorry, he knows that you are not happy with him and he wants to fix that. He will sign sorry over and over and look at you to see if you accept his apology. If he is worried that you might still be upset with him, he will even add in a hug and rub your back to win you over. 

THANK YOU - This sign often has to be prompted with a “what do you say?” when someone offers the help he has asked for or if someone has given him something special or when trick or treating. The one time I notice that he signs THANK YOU unprompted is when he asks me to enter a word into the search button of YouTube. He will go to his photographs, show me a picture, and then get me set up in the right spot of YouTube. He always thanks me for this, unprompted. 

WAIT - this word is definitely used daily, and sometimes hourly. We have to WAIT to go in the car, WAIT to get things on our wish list, WAIT to see out of town guests again, WAIT to eat dinner, WAIT to ride in people’s car, etc. On Christmas Day we had to WAIT for cousins to come. Now, we are WAITING for his birthday to see if he gets the things on his wish list that he didn’t get for Christmas!

Matthew has always been very motivated to communicate and knowing more signs allows him to get his message across without being frustrated. Although I have to be honest, that even though they are not universally understood, I do love it when he creates his own sign for a word that he doesn’t have. For example for ROOT BEER, he signs BEARD, because obviously they sound the same! His sign for BIRTHDAY is blowing on his finger, like blowing out a candle. His sign for DOCTOR (even though we have learned the correct one) has switched over time. It used to be he would point to his ear, but now he pretends to do a shot in your shoulder. Often when I put on my coat, he asks if I am going to the doctor by putting a shot in my shoulder and giving me a quizzical look. I will tell him, I’m not going to the DOCTOR, I’m going to WORK. When he wants the dentist or doctor to blow up a glove and tie it like a balloon, he will put his fingers up to his mouth and blow. I’m sure that as he grows and needs more words he will create even more new ones, but for now I will just have to WAIT.

                                                                  (ASL for "wait" )

Operation Fitness

On September 30th I took Matthew to his annual physical.  His doctor did her standard check-up, although he was having trouble focusing on the stuff he usually likes such as getting his eyes checked, ears checked, heart rate, temperature, etc.  because he kept asking if he was getting a shot. She honestly told him that she doesn’t give shots.  But he could still smell a rat and asked every five seconds if he was getting a shot.   When she asked about concerns, I hesitatingly said, “We’re wondering about his weight? He seems to have put on quite a bit of weight this last year.” His doctor brought up his weight growth chart and told me that his weight was in the average percentile.  (“Oh...that’s not so bad then…”) Then she brought up his height chart, which indicated that his height was in a very low percentile (which was surprising to me since everyone comments on how tall he is getting!) Finally she brought up a third chart which showed his BMI and reported that his body mass index was in the high range.  

I explained that he really likes his snacks - he will often have one snack out and try to get out one or two others to munch on at the same time.  And the kinds of snacks he likes to eat are more like Chex Mix, Cheez-its, graham crackers, etc. He also has a mighty sweet tooth - particularly for ice cream.  Doctor’s orders (I like calling them that as it sounds official and then it is coming from someone else other than me) were for his snacks to be fruits and veggies and a one hour walk or other exercise every night.  She even offered that he could have a choice of three fruits...I laughed in my head, because right now the only fruit he likes to eat is apples and his preferred method is drowning it in peanut butter.  

Tuesday morning rolled around and he watched me carefully as I packed carrots for his school snack.  His note home from school announced, “He wasn’t too thrilled about the carrots for his snack, but he ate them all.”  That night Rob asked him what he thought about having carrots for his snack. We both cracked up when he gave a thumbs down sign.  Wednesday morning I cut up an apple and soaked them in lemon juice before placing in a bag. I feared if he would eat them without peanut butter.  His note home that night said that he wasn’t thrilled with the apple either. I’m trying to be creative, but it’s hard when the only raw veggies he likes are carrots and the only fruit he likes is apples.  At home, I have been able to encourage him to try a few other fruits (He ate one time around on a plum, two slices of a clementine, and one bite each out of two grapes.) I’m crossing my fingers on the little cartons of peaches in 100% fruit juice.  Other changes I’ve made at home are limiting portions or going with just one serving. He’s the king of seconds or thirds.) Our desserts consist of Outshine Popsicles with real fruit. Rob and I both agreed that he seemed a bit hangry the first couple days.  

While the diet has been going okay, I feel like we are making pretty good progress on the walks.  The first night Abby, Matthew and I took a walk on a walking path at a nearby park. It was a warm night and it was a bit dark by the time we finished (thank goodness for my i-phone flashlight for when we went over a very dark, dark bridge.)   We saw a deer with antlers grazing in the grass - it didn’t move or flinch for humans or dogs. We made it 42 minutes that first night. Other walks we took that week include the mall and to walk my friend’s dogs with her. Angie, his respite worker has taken him for walks at Target and the zoo.  We also bought a basketball hoop. He loves to dribble...now we’re just working on throwing the ball overhand. 

While it’s hard enough to go on a diet and follow it for yourself, it’s a whole ‘nother thing to try and get someone else to follow one (especially when they are not the ones who initiated it.)  That’s why my default is…”Dr. said…” But there are some perks to Operation Fitness. With no unhealthy snack foods in the pantry and no ice cream in the freezer, it will help the rest of us make healthier choices too.  We’ve been working on picking up the pace and “pumping our arms” on our walks. And since Matthew can’t go for a walk by himself, guess who else has been getting an extra hour of exercise each day?   

I wish I could have gotten a picture of the day I picked him up from school sans car and told him we were hoofing it home! I think that it helped that we walked a ½ hour to a park and played for awhile before walking another ½ hour home.  I’m proud to say about a week and a half ago we walked for 1 ½ - 2 hours!!!! But I’m guessing that it might have gotten cancelled out since we were Trick or Treating. Fortunately, the whole family has made the sacrifice to pitch in and help him eat up his candy! 

Let's Talk Trash!

Garbage trucks are cool.  They’re loud and smelly and make lots of stops. And let’s face it, they’re in the truck family and all trucks are pretty awesome. There have been several picture books devoted just to garbage trucks such as I Stink by Kate McMullan or Vroom, Vroom Garbage Truck by Asia Citro. So, it was no surprise when Matthew was infatuated with garbage trucks when he was little.  On Wednesdays, he would run and stand on the couch and look out the window and watch them make their stops.  If he was upstairs in his room, he would find a way on top of his dresser to look out the window! Evidence indicated that a small rocking chair was helpful in his climbing.

When Matthew was 6 or 7 he had an ABA therapist that introduced him to YouTube! On a whim, she had searched garbage trucks and guess what? There are LOTS of garbage truck videos on YouTube!  A lot of the videos simply follow the route of the garbage truck (narration optional). Suddenly our boy who didn’t like to watch movies or sit still for much of anything could watch garbage trucks for at least an hour (longer if we would have let him!) He would get excited and “gee” and flap to his heart’s content. He got to see the older trucks, where the garbage men had to grab the garbage cans and dump them in, the newer trucks with the arm that reached out and took the garbage cans and dumped them, and garbage trucks in other countries! One of his personal favorites was a video set to the song “Bad Boys” from the TV show Cops. I’m not sure who is making these videos (maybe an adult on the spectrum themselves?), but I can tell you that many of the videos have hundreds of thousands, if not millions of views. Even Matthew couldn’t rack up that many views all by himself.

Around that same time, Matthew became very interested in our little wastebaskets upstairs.  He would dump from one wastebasket to another. He would take the bags out and to make sure that there was enough garbage to take it out, he would make his own garbage by crumpling up toilet paper or Kleenex. He could empty a whole Kleenex box or unroll a whole roll of toilet paper in a matter of minutes. Until I finally figured it out, I kept wondering why we were going through so much toilet paper!  My personal favorite was when I found out he was throwing away his underwear to make garbage! Outside of our house there are other wastebaskets that he loves. There’s a wastebasket that hooks onto a cart at church. He frequently takes the wastebasket off the cart and moves it somewhere else and sits down next to it and taps on it. He has done this for years. Occasionally someone will say something to him or wonder what he is doing, but most of them  know, “That’s just Matthew…” I would be remiss if I didn’t mention something else that has stood the test of time - visiting the garbage carts that are blocking off the ends of the street during a block party. He will sit on the curb and keep watch over them.

Now that Matthew is eleven I don’t see him running to see the garbage truck or watching garbage trucks on YouTube anymore.  Apparently garbage trucks was just the gateway to other interesting things to watch on YouTube, like rollercoasters, fair rides, escalators, wagons, swings, or people making slime. What I notice most right now is a fascination with the garbage carts of each of our next door neighbors. After school on Wednesdays he needs to go down to the end of the street and close their lids and pull the garbage carts to a specific spot, but still on the grass closest to the road.  When I’m lucky I can convince him to bring their garbage carts back up their driveway by racing him with ours. He is also particular about their garbage carts in their driveway. On one side they like to turn their garbage cart to one side so they can reach out their door and throw stuff away easily.  They always know when Matthew has made a visit as their garbage cart is turned the “right” way. On the other side, they are just driving Matthew nuts because they have been keeping their garbage carts in their garage! If he sees their garage door open, he feels the need to go over there and start to correct this atrocity until he’s stopped by my neighbor or me.  Our neighbor has promised him that they will be back outside again soon.

I don’t know where his trash adventures will take us in the future, but according to Matthew a world without garbage, waste baskets or garbage trucks would really STINK!

(Notice the garbage truck shirt!)

Connections

When Matthew was younger, going to the doctor was pure torture.  Just pulling up in the parking lot would bring tears. He would cry the whole time we were in the waiting room. The crying got more intense as we were in the exam room. Shots and looking into ears (he had frequent ear infections prior to getting tubes put in) required additional staff support.  We would leave completely worn out. Pretty soon he started to associate any brick building with the doctor’s office. We would pull up to the library or a bank and he would start to whimper from the backseat.  In his mind, Brick Building = Doctor.

Another one of Matthew’s fears is fireworks.  He just doesn’t enjoy them at all, especially the extra loud booming ones.  While we have had some semi-successful 4th of July firework experiences complete with a wagon, ipad, headphones and root beer, he still would much rather avoid them altogether. A couple of years ago, we decided to try taking him to a Brewers game.  We completely forgot about the fact that they set off a few fireworks right at the beginning of the game and anytime the Brewers get a homerun. With both the fireworks and the loud clapping, Matthew was not a fan of going to the Brewer game. So now there is quite list of connections from that experience!  Brewer Game = Fireworks, Packers = Brewer Game = Fireworks, any mention of the word game =Brewer game = fireworks. Unfortunately for Matthew, we are a Brewer fan family, so any mention of the Brewers, wearing of Brewer clothing or mention of the score causes him to be alarmed and think we are going to the game.  Recently, I discovered a new connection to fireworks. We were at a relative’s cabin and they wanted to take us out on their boat for a quick ride. I took Matthew to the bathroom before we got out on the lake and he started crying hard in the bathroom and signing fireworks. I had no idea why he thought there were going to be fireworks on the boat, until Rob reminded me that the last time we had been on a boat we had gone out to see fireworks out on a lake.  You can see how strong his connections are, because that boat ride was 5 years ago!

Sometimes just the mention of one of his fears causes a negative reaction (maybe not tears, but he has a very strong “uh uh” sound that he makes while he shakes his head no.)  When Abby was in fifth grade she was part of Mad Hot Dance. We were watching one of her performances and I clearly remember them dancing to the 70’s song “Car Wash”. Every time the words “car wash” came up in that song, he would look at him with a panicky look on his face and I had to convince him that we were not going to the car wash.  Unfortunately, Abby, being a typical sibling, would use the knowledge of his fear of car washes to her advantage. I would be driving somewhere and out of nowhere, Matthew would make his emphatic no sound/head gesture. I would look at Abby and say, “Why is he doing that?” She would act innocent and shrug her shoulders. But finally, one time, I caught her whispering, “Car wash” to him!  She even tried to be clever and would say things like “Car shower” or “Car bath”, and he would react the same way! It was probably partly because of the suspicious way that she would whisper it to him in the backseat.

Not all of his associations are rooted in fears or negative thoughts.  He has positive associations with each of his grandparents. When he sees Grandma B. he signs candy and lifts up his shirt to get his back scratched.  Grandpa B. is good for lap sitting and head rubs. If Grandma S. is coming over for the day he might get out a mixing bowl and some oven mitts. Grandpa S. is synonymous with human jungle gym.  And all grandparents (or should I include aunts and uncles too) get the sign “drive” as he wants to ride in their vehicles any chance he gets.

Places have special connections too:

Kohl’s = Slippers,

Target = Carseats,

The Park = Swinging

Miracle League Baseball = Piggyback rides from his buddy

Church = Trying to sit with anyone BUT Mom and Dad

This Spring Matthew had a special Parent-Child visit to the middle school just for kids that will be in the special education program.  They had a whole powerpoint presentation and various staff members introduced themselves. They explained about the different classes and talked about extracurricular opportunities, but I am pretty sure the part that is stuck in his memory is the glazed doughnut that he got upon entering the auditorium. Middle School = Doughnuts!

Outside My Window

When I look out my back window, I see a backyard that I always describe as the size of a postage stamp.  Right now, it is stuck between seasons…the grass is short and brown, but on the side a few yellow buds are trying to pop through the ground.  A few kid shovels are randomly strewn where Matthew has left them.  The sandbox’s lid has moved from being fully on to a little off kilter to totally off, leaving the sand underneath a layer of water (a combination of rain and melted snow). This mysteriously happens every year. Right below the window are the soggy, brown leaves that did not adhere to the city’s leave pickup schedule. 

But when I close my eyes I can see more.

The tiny green and tan playset from First Step where you climb up one side and slide down the other and it has a little fort in the middle.  Four year old Abby and Lauren who lives right next door would climb to the very top and yell at the top of their lungs, “Ta Da” in complete unison.

The little blue plastic pool with textured bubbles on the bottom.  An invention that could keep Matthew in one place for hours…there’s not many things that can stake that claim (even playdough and his favorite blocks might expire before an hour is up). 

The artistic display of sidewalk art.  Abby could draw better pictures with sidewalk chalk than I could with pen and paper.  One of my favorite drawings was done right around Mother’s Day and it was a mother unicorn with two baby unicorns nursing. 

The pile of leaves with a black haired head popping out.  Leaves have always been special to Matthew (at any given moment – even winter) there will be remnants of a beloved leaf in our house.  You gotta love how when they are dry they crack into a million pieces.  Put hundreds of leaves together and now you have Leaf Heaven.

The brown and tan blanket with a lion face on it.  Soft, but somewhat ugly…the perfect blanket for taking outside and laying on the grass to have a tea party.  Abby and her two neighbor friends Ana and Lauren would take out tea (aka lemonade) and cookies (aka crackers) and giggle and tell stories. 

The snow castles made with giant buckets.  The delicate balance that Matthew would try to achieve of tipping the bucket over and getting a “perfect” castle without losing too much snow at the first tip. 

The giant mesh golf web that was converted into lacrosse goalposts so that Abby could practice scoring goals.  All that practice has led to her feeling proud to be on the first girls' lacrosse team at her high school.

The extremely ugly swing set that my Dad found at a rummage sale and repainted and installed in our backyard.  I remember the day my dad was putting it up and the excitement on Matthew’s face.  Swinging is another favorite activity!  The memory of his autism therapist teaching him his first sign of “more” so that he could ask for “more” pushes on the swing. 

When I open my eyes, I see a sight that makes my heart melt.  From out of the garage, comes Abby pulling a “too big” Matthew in his favorite, red wagon.  She is the only one who will still pull him in it!

Although my backyard might be the size of a postage stamp, the memories that have been made there are immeasurable. 

                                                    

A Matthew Kind of Museum

I did a google search with the words sensory and museum.  I discovered that there are museums with sensory friendly rooms and many museums offer sensory friendly dates when accommodations are made for families with children with special needs.  Many children's museums are interactive or multi-sensory.  In fact Matthew does love the Betty Brinn Museum.  One of his favorite spots is working on the car, because he likes to change the tires and go underneath the car to change the muffler.  His other favorite spot is building with the giant Tinker Toys.  If I let him he would go back and forth between those two activities, but with encouragement he will also spend (and enjoy) some time at the grocery store exhibit and riding the pretend bus.

I also googled vacuum and museum because I had heard that there was one.  It turns out there is not one, but two vacuum museums.  One in St. James, Missouri and one in Portland, Oregon.  However, as I looked at the images it appeared that both museums were really more for looking at vacuums throughout the years that were on display. So, even though we were just in Portland this summer, it's probably a good thing we didn't go to the vacuum museum because Matthew wouldn't want to just LOOK at vacuums...he would want to TOUCH and RUN the vacuums.

So I got to thinking...what if there was a museum designed just for Matthew? With all of his favorite things? A place he would want to spend hours. This is what I am envisioning...

The Jumping Room - This room would have both trampolines and bouncy houses.  It would also have employees (or volunteers) that want to physically jump him either by taking his hands to help give him leverage or he would face them backwards so they could lift him up and jump him.

The Swing Room  - There would have to be your standard rubber swings and a whole row of them so he could go from one to the other because even though they may all look the same, they obviously don't all feel the same!  In addition there would be some tire swings and swings that you can lay down on and the big plastic kind that go up over your head and buckle you in.  And I hate to even say this, but there would probably even need to be a baby swing - but big enough for Matthew to get in and out of without getting stuck. Again, there might be two workers ready and willing to take each hand and swing him between them or grab each end of a blanket with him on it and swing him and deposit him on a couch.

The Flapping Room  - (Author's Note:  These are items that can be flapped against the chin to provide input.) So many fun things in this room.  Receipts of all different lengths and tape in case he wants to tape two together to make them even longer.  Flags of various sizes just waiting to be waved.  And objects with the tags still on them.

The Footwear Room - Amongst this interactive collection would be slippers (and people that he could boss into wearing the slippers), winter boots, rain boots, fur-lined boots, sneakers, mens' dress shoes, crocs, and sandals, just to name a few.

The Scratching Room - This room would contain wicker baskets, egg cartons, corrugated cardboard, the inside of car doors, rest mats, a few shoes from the Footwear Room and one of Rob's fleece sweatshirts.

The Vacuum Room  - Unlike the vacuum museums in Missouri and Oregon, this vacuum display would be fully interactive.  There would be lots of outlets for plugging in the vacuums.  There would be every kind of vacuum imaginable, including a wet vac (this is on his wish list right now).  There is one vacuum that would not be there though and that is the old yellow LOUD vacuum that we ended up throwing out this summer. (We are "all done" with that one.)

I'm sure there are several more rooms that could be part of this museum, but if we make it any  more spectacular, he won't ever want to leave!  He'll want to live there!