Let's Talk Trash!

Garbage trucks are cool.  They’re loud and smelly and make lots of stops. And let’s face it, they’re in the truck family and all trucks are pretty awesome. There have been several picture books devoted just to garbage trucks such as I Stink by Kate McMullan or Vroom, Vroom Garbage Truck by Asia Citro. So, it was no surprise when Matthew was infatuated with garbage trucks when he was little.  On Wednesdays, he would run and stand on the couch and look out the window and watch them make their stops.  If he was upstairs in his room, he would find a way on top of his dresser to look out the window! Evidence indicated that a small rocking chair was helpful in his climbing.

When Matthew was 6 or 7 he had an ABA therapist that introduced him to YouTube! On a whim, she had searched garbage trucks and guess what? There are LOTS of garbage truck videos on YouTube!  A lot of the videos simply follow the route of the garbage truck (narration optional). Suddenly our boy who didn’t like to watch movies or sit still for much of anything could watch garbage trucks for at least an hour (longer if we would have let him!) He would get excited and “gee” and flap to his heart’s content. He got to see the older trucks, where the garbage men had to grab the garbage cans and dump them in, the newer trucks with the arm that reached out and took the garbage cans and dumped them, and garbage trucks in other countries! One of his personal favorites was a video set to the song “Bad Boys” from the TV show Cops. I’m not sure who is making these videos (maybe an adult on the spectrum themselves?), but I can tell you that many of the videos have hundreds of thousands, if not millions of views. Even Matthew couldn’t rack up that many views all by himself.

Around that same time, Matthew became very interested in our little wastebaskets upstairs.  He would dump from one wastebasket to another. He would take the bags out and to make sure that there was enough garbage to take it out, he would make his own garbage by crumpling up toilet paper or Kleenex. He could empty a whole Kleenex box or unroll a whole roll of toilet paper in a matter of minutes. Until I finally figured it out, I kept wondering why we were going through so much toilet paper!  My personal favorite was when I found out he was throwing away his underwear to make garbage! Outside of our house there are other wastebaskets that he loves. There’s a wastebasket that hooks onto a cart at church. He frequently takes the wastebasket off the cart and moves it somewhere else and sits down next to it and taps on it. He has done this for years. Occasionally someone will say something to him or wonder what he is doing, but most of them  know, “That’s just Matthew…” I would be remiss if I didn’t mention something else that has stood the test of time - visiting the garbage carts that are blocking off the ends of the street during a block party. He will sit on the curb and keep watch over them.

Now that Matthew is eleven I don’t see him running to see the garbage truck or watching garbage trucks on YouTube anymore.  Apparently garbage trucks was just the gateway to other interesting things to watch on YouTube, like rollercoasters, fair rides, escalators, wagons, swings, or people making slime. What I notice most right now is a fascination with the garbage carts of each of our next door neighbors. After school on Wednesdays he needs to go down to the end of the street and close their lids and pull the garbage carts to a specific spot, but still on the grass closest to the road.  When I’m lucky I can convince him to bring their garbage carts back up their driveway by racing him with ours. He is also particular about their garbage carts in their driveway. On one side they like to turn their garbage cart to one side so they can reach out their door and throw stuff away easily.  They always know when Matthew has made a visit as their garbage cart is turned the “right” way. On the other side, they are just driving Matthew nuts because they have been keeping their garbage carts in their garage! If he sees their garage door open, he feels the need to go over there and start to correct this atrocity until he’s stopped by my neighbor or me.  Our neighbor has promised him that they will be back outside again soon.

I don’t know where his trash adventures will take us in the future, but according to Matthew a world without garbage, waste baskets or garbage trucks would really STINK!

(Notice the garbage truck shirt!)

Connections

When Matthew was younger, going to the doctor was pure torture.  Just pulling up in the parking lot would bring tears. He would cry the whole time we were in the waiting room. The crying got more intense as we were in the exam room. Shots and looking into ears (he had frequent ear infections prior to getting tubes put in) required additional staff support.  We would leave completely worn out. Pretty soon he started to associate any brick building with the doctor’s office. We would pull up to the library or a bank and he would start to whimper from the backseat.  In his mind, Brick Building = Doctor.

Another one of Matthew’s fears is fireworks.  He just doesn’t enjoy them at all, especially the extra loud booming ones.  While we have had some semi-successful 4th of July firework experiences complete with a wagon, ipad, headphones and root beer, he still would much rather avoid them altogether. A couple of years ago, we decided to try taking him to a Brewers game.  We completely forgot about the fact that they set off a few fireworks right at the beginning of the game and anytime the Brewers get a homerun. With both the fireworks and the loud clapping, Matthew was not a fan of going to the Brewer game. So now there is quite list of connections from that experience!  Brewer Game = Fireworks, Packers = Brewer Game = Fireworks, any mention of the word game =Brewer game = fireworks. Unfortunately for Matthew, we are a Brewer fan family, so any mention of the Brewers, wearing of Brewer clothing or mention of the score causes him to be alarmed and think we are going to the game.  Recently, I discovered a new connection to fireworks. We were at a relative’s cabin and they wanted to take us out on their boat for a quick ride. I took Matthew to the bathroom before we got out on the lake and he started crying hard in the bathroom and signing fireworks. I had no idea why he thought there were going to be fireworks on the boat, until Rob reminded me that the last time we had been on a boat we had gone out to see fireworks out on a lake.  You can see how strong his connections are, because that boat ride was 5 years ago!

Sometimes just the mention of one of his fears causes a negative reaction (maybe not tears, but he has a very strong “uh uh” sound that he makes while he shakes his head no.)  When Abby was in fifth grade she was part of Mad Hot Dance. We were watching one of her performances and I clearly remember them dancing to the 70’s song “Car Wash”. Every time the words “car wash” came up in that song, he would look at him with a panicky look on his face and I had to convince him that we were not going to the car wash.  Unfortunately, Abby, being a typical sibling, would use the knowledge of his fear of car washes to her advantage. I would be driving somewhere and out of nowhere, Matthew would make his emphatic no sound/head gesture. I would look at Abby and say, “Why is he doing that?” She would act innocent and shrug her shoulders. But finally, one time, I caught her whispering, “Car wash” to him!  She even tried to be clever and would say things like “Car shower” or “Car bath”, and he would react the same way! It was probably partly because of the suspicious way that she would whisper it to him in the backseat.

Not all of his associations are rooted in fears or negative thoughts.  He has positive associations with each of his grandparents. When he sees Grandma B. he signs candy and lifts up his shirt to get his back scratched.  Grandpa B. is good for lap sitting and head rubs. If Grandma S. is coming over for the day he might get out a mixing bowl and some oven mitts. Grandpa S. is synonymous with human jungle gym.  And all grandparents (or should I include aunts and uncles too) get the sign “drive” as he wants to ride in their vehicles any chance he gets.

Places have special connections too:

Kohl’s = Slippers,

Target = Carseats,

The Park = Swinging

Miracle League Baseball = Piggyback rides from his buddy

Church = Trying to sit with anyone BUT Mom and Dad

This Spring Matthew had a special Parent-Child visit to the middle school just for kids that will be in the special education program.  They had a whole powerpoint presentation and various staff members introduced themselves. They explained about the different classes and talked about extracurricular opportunities, but I am pretty sure the part that is stuck in his memory is the glazed doughnut that he got upon entering the auditorium. Middle School = Doughnuts!

Outside My Window

When I look out my back window, I see a backyard that I always describe as the size of a postage stamp.  Right now, it is stuck between seasons…the grass is short and brown, but on the side a few yellow buds are trying to pop through the ground.  A few kid shovels are randomly strewn where Matthew has left them.  The sandbox’s lid has moved from being fully on to a little off kilter to totally off, leaving the sand underneath a layer of water (a combination of rain and melted snow). This mysteriously happens every year. Right below the window are the soggy, brown leaves that did not adhere to the city’s leave pickup schedule. 

But when I close my eyes I can see more.

The tiny green and tan playset from First Step where you climb up one side and slide down the other and it has a little fort in the middle.  Four year old Abby and Lauren who lives right next door would climb to the very top and yell at the top of their lungs, “Ta Da” in complete unison.

The little blue plastic pool with textured bubbles on the bottom.  An invention that could keep Matthew in one place for hours…there’s not many things that can stake that claim (even playdough and his favorite blocks might expire before an hour is up). 

The artistic display of sidewalk art.  Abby could draw better pictures with sidewalk chalk than I could with pen and paper.  One of my favorite drawings was done right around Mother’s Day and it was a mother unicorn with two baby unicorns nursing. 

The pile of leaves with a black haired head popping out.  Leaves have always been special to Matthew (at any given moment – even winter) there will be remnants of a beloved leaf in our house.  You gotta love how when they are dry they crack into a million pieces.  Put hundreds of leaves together and now you have Leaf Heaven.

The brown and tan blanket with a lion face on it.  Soft, but somewhat ugly…the perfect blanket for taking outside and laying on the grass to have a tea party.  Abby and her two neighbor friends Ana and Lauren would take out tea (aka lemonade) and cookies (aka crackers) and giggle and tell stories. 

The snow castles made with giant buckets.  The delicate balance that Matthew would try to achieve of tipping the bucket over and getting a “perfect” castle without losing too much snow at the first tip. 

The giant mesh golf web that was converted into lacrosse goalposts so that Abby could practice scoring goals.  All that practice has led to her feeling proud to be on the first girls' lacrosse team at her high school.

The extremely ugly swing set that my Dad found at a rummage sale and repainted and installed in our backyard.  I remember the day my dad was putting it up and the excitement on Matthew’s face.  Swinging is another favorite activity!  The memory of his autism therapist teaching him his first sign of “more” so that he could ask for “more” pushes on the swing. 

When I open my eyes, I see a sight that makes my heart melt.  From out of the garage, comes Abby pulling a “too big” Matthew in his favorite, red wagon.  She is the only one who will still pull him in it!

Although my backyard might be the size of a postage stamp, the memories that have been made there are immeasurable.